So here’s the burning question after last Tuesday’s elections in New Jersey.

How did Latinos do?

If your candidate didn’t win, stop moping for a second (and perhaps stop polishing your resume) and listen up.  Ditto for those who correctly bet on the winning ticket and are busy gloating (and polishing their resumes).

Did Latinos stay home like thousands of New Jerseyans because we thought there was no one on the ballot that made it worth our precious time to take a few minutes and head to the voting booths?

Were Latinos feeling disenfranchised, believing that no one listens to us in this so-called Garden State of ours, so why bother to get off the sofas?

Here’s some good news: Some 10 percent of the total electorate – the folks who cast ballots – were Latinos. Yep.

Compare that to 2001 when it was only 7 percent.

So that means that not only are we coming out to vote, our presence in those booths is increasing over the years.

Let’s break it down further.  Based on information provided to me by those who are better at numbers than I’ll ever be, the 10 percent figure comes out to 234,476 Latino votes.

I’m told Bendixen and Associates found 75 percent of the Latino vote went to Governor Corzine, or 175,857.  Edison Research says 65 percent of our peeps voted for Corzine, or 152,402.  And yes that means our other votes went to Chris Christie, although a few lone gatos went for Independent Christopher Daggett’s pitch.

The Bendixen data means that we surpassed the number of Latinos voting Democratic in 2005 and 2006.  If we use the Edison Research numbers, we are at about the same number as in 2006 when U.S. Senator Bob Menendez captured 154,000 votes.

Keeping in mind that we make up more than 16 percent of the state’s population, seems to me that these are numbers – an “amazing trend,” as one political operative put it — that all the political parties need to keep in mind as we move forward.  But those are also numbers we Latinos have to keep seared in the forefront of our own minds.

We just witnessed an election in New Jersey equivalent to having the rug behind yanked from under all of us – no matter if we voted Democratic, Republican or Independent.  For those of us who voted for Corzine, we’re still feeling a bit disoriented.  For those of us who said Christie was our hombre under the Golden Dome, we’re feeling almost giddy as we contemplate the possibilities of the untested waters.  For those of us who went the Daggett route, we’re feeling all of the above.

If Latinos don’t grasp this incredible opportunity to take a collective magnifying glass, if you will, and honestly and unflinchingly study what’s been going on in New Jersey when it comes to the political scene, then we deserve what we get.  Or perhaps better said, we deserve what we don’t get.

And let’s not pretend that this is a Republican Party versus Democrat Party problem or issue.

Yes the majority of the Latinos that came out on Tuesday voted overwhelmingly Democrat.  No surprise there.  “Although that doesn’t mean that the Democratic Party is the better party for the Latinos,” noted another statewide political operative who has been in the trenches for many years and doesn’t make that kind of observation lightly.

And it doesn’t mean the Republican Party is the better one.  And the Independent Party is still a bit of a mystery for most of us.

So if we are to move forward in this crazy New Jersey political world and not just be led along, I submit to you that we have to start our journey together.

We’d be fools to shut out fellow Latinos from our discussions just because they are – or aren’t – a member of a certain party.   Or because they do – or don’t — belong to a specific Latino organization.  Or because they do — or don’t — have roots connected to a specific island or Latin American country.  Or because they’ve been part of the Old Guard and we need fresh blood.  Or because they are young and don’t know what they’re talking about.

And I think some of us will agree we’ve been fools long enough.

Have you ever wondered why so many Latinas over the age of 30 are still single? I have.

A few days ago I discussed this topic with some girlfriends. Obviously none of us are even close to thirty, but we are still single. The thought of one day reaching that age and the possibility of still abiding in singlehood is quite frightening. The more I thought about friends who were still not sharing their lives with a significant other the more I asked myself, why?

Why is it that most beautiful, successful, and well-educated Latina women are still not married? As I thought about this,  three things immediately came to my mind. The first possible reason is the fear of commitment because of past hurt. Most of this hurt probably comes from a broken household where she was not validated by her father or she had a bad experience with the father figure in her life, which marked her perception of a man. Perhaps she once gave herself whole-heartedly to a man who did not appreciate, value or reciprocate the same commitment. In turn, a core belief was created in her mind that says: “I am never giving my all because it’s never appreciated.”

The second possible reason is the fact that some women don’t know what they want. It’s like being hungry, but not knowing the type of appetite you have and how much you can really handle. So many of my friends go from one unsuccessful relationship to the next, desperately trying to find who they are. I always tell them, how can two broken people fix each other? We must find wholeness in ourselves first so that we become a blessing to that other person.

The last possible reason is that the Latino culture is mal acustumbrado. In other words, couples are accustomed to “living together” and getting the benefits of companionship without true commitment or responsibility. One of my good friends said that since so many women are more focused on their careers, the tradition of marriage is easily thrown out the window. Plus, “with so many government programs that support single women and moms, who needs the support of a man,” she added.

Apparently, this is not only a problem for Latinas. African-American women also have this issue. I mean look at successful women like Oprah and Tyra Banks. Are men intimidated by them? Or are they intimidated by themselves and not being fully valued by a man that is not at their level? One of my girlfriends told me that the main issue for black women is the small pool of “eligible” men they have to pull from. Personally, I have seen a lot of handsome and eligible black men, but often they are with someone outside their race.

Hannah Bruckner, a researcher at Yale University, noted a difference in dating preferences between some black men and women. “Black men are more likely to marry outside of their race, and black women are more likely to marry outside of their education,” she said.

I wonder if this is also true for Latinas. I wonder why most are still single. Is it a personal choice and if so is that any justice to their passionate hearts? Have they given up hope, or are they still hiding behind the “waiting for the right one” excuse? Maybe they have settled with just “living together,” commitment not included.

Regardless of the reason (and I am sure that they vary throughout the different women) there is hope if you are in your thirties and still single. That is, if deep down you still desire to be with someone. One thing is certain — men that approach you will be tired of games and will be finally at a maturity level that can stimulate your intellect and the right type of desires.

The Bible says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing.” Life gets to a point where the outer shell of a person is no longer of importance because there is a deeper longing for understanding, love, and true commitment.